"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
Last weekend was our Lake Forest women's retreat. I can honestly say it was one of the best weekends I have had in a long, long time. The above verse was our theme verse for the retreat and the topic was "Filled to Overflow." We talked about the four thieves that rob us as women from being filled to overflow- unmet expectations, comparison, busyness, and distractions.
It was a beautiful weekend in the mountains and it was amazing to experience it with 90 women! It has struck me again how cool it is to retreat with other people of like minds. These are some of the most beautiful women I have ever met. We laughed together, cried together, prayed together, and shared our lives together over a 48 hour period. Once we got away from our everyday lives and created the "space" to hear God and also hear one another, God saw that opening and moved in powerful ways! Women shared their pain, their struggles, and their joys together. Some met one another for the first time and began friendships over the weekend. Others had the chance to catch up with old friends...like I did. I was able to grab coffee with a dear friend for a couple of hours on Saturday.
The weekend filled my soul in so many ways. I am a believer in retreats!!! I saw firsthand God move in the lives of many women, including my own, and it was a privilege to be a part of it all. My prayer is that the "thief" will not steal what we received over the weekend and that God will continue to remind us all of the "good work"He did in our lives over those two days together.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I am in a club!
Do you ever feel like you have entered into a place where you feel part of a "club"? Clubs seem to have their own language, filled with people who share a common interest. Some clubs feel exclusive...and yet some are exclusive only because of what they share in common.
For example, I know many people who are in the "cancer" club. This is not a club they would have chosen to be in; however they have met so many new people though being a part of the "club." They have words that they toss around that only they really understand. They also have fears, thoughts and emotions that only people who are in that "club" really understand.
Then there is infertility. I have met some people in that "club". They support one another, ask questions of one another, share stories with one another, and I imagine they cry together too...joyful tears at times and really sad, disappointed tears at other times.
When I was pregnant, I definitely felt like I was in a "club" with all the other pregnant people I would see. Even the ones walking in a mall...especially during the later months of my pregnancies. We would give each other that knowing look like"Oh yeah, I understand how uncomfortable you are right now. Oh,and the nearest bathroom is right over there." (-:
There are all sorts of "clubs" out there...the "exercise fanatic" club, the "working mom" club, the "unemployed" club, and the list goes on.
The club I am in is one I joined on October 14, 2008 (the day Zach was born). It is the "MOM of a child with Down Syndrome" club. Now this is not a club I had any aspirations of joining. In fact, two years ago, I did not even know this club existed. I was hesitant to join at first, but as soon as I did, I was met with great acceptance , love, and an understanding that only mom's with these special kids can truly understand.
I went to dinner with six other mom's last night who are in this "club." We laughed together, and we shared stories. We talked about our kids and we shared tips, challenges, and funny moments that we all seem to encounter. We used codes like "PT, OT, and Speech" and no one had to even ask what those stood for. Well, this was because we all became quickly familiar with those abbreviations once we joined the "club". We go out once a month and have these "mom's night outs" and they have quickly become a highlight of each month. I feel understood when I am there. I feel supported. I feel like we can talk about anything-not just our children who happen to have Down Syndrome, but other topics as well-our jobs, schools, our "typical" children,our faith, and even our fears. I sat back last night and looked around the table. What a neat collection of women! These are women I respect because I know what they are going through! We all have different stories and different backgrounds, and yet we all share a common bond that has enabled the walls to come down quickly. It amazes me to think this is not a path I knew I would be traveling, but now that I am, well, I really enjoy it, feel privileged to be a part of it, and am thankful to have so many others to walk this path with me!
So, I realize little Zach is the one to thank for opening my world to this "club"!! If he had not entered my world, I would not have had dinner last night with some amazing women, who I have so much to learn from!
So, thank you God for this "club"...no fees, but GREAT rewards!!!
For example, I know many people who are in the "cancer" club. This is not a club they would have chosen to be in; however they have met so many new people though being a part of the "club." They have words that they toss around that only they really understand. They also have fears, thoughts and emotions that only people who are in that "club" really understand.
Then there is infertility. I have met some people in that "club". They support one another, ask questions of one another, share stories with one another, and I imagine they cry together too...joyful tears at times and really sad, disappointed tears at other times.
When I was pregnant, I definitely felt like I was in a "club" with all the other pregnant people I would see. Even the ones walking in a mall...especially during the later months of my pregnancies. We would give each other that knowing look like"Oh yeah, I understand how uncomfortable you are right now. Oh,and the nearest bathroom is right over there." (-:
There are all sorts of "clubs" out there...the "exercise fanatic" club, the "working mom" club, the "unemployed" club, and the list goes on.
The club I am in is one I joined on October 14, 2008 (the day Zach was born). It is the "MOM of a child with Down Syndrome" club. Now this is not a club I had any aspirations of joining. In fact, two years ago, I did not even know this club existed. I was hesitant to join at first, but as soon as I did, I was met with great acceptance , love, and an understanding that only mom's with these special kids can truly understand.
I went to dinner with six other mom's last night who are in this "club." We laughed together, and we shared stories. We talked about our kids and we shared tips, challenges, and funny moments that we all seem to encounter. We used codes like "PT, OT, and Speech" and no one had to even ask what those stood for. Well, this was because we all became quickly familiar with those abbreviations once we joined the "club". We go out once a month and have these "mom's night outs" and they have quickly become a highlight of each month. I feel understood when I am there. I feel supported. I feel like we can talk about anything-not just our children who happen to have Down Syndrome, but other topics as well-our jobs, schools, our "typical" children,our faith, and even our fears. I sat back last night and looked around the table. What a neat collection of women! These are women I respect because I know what they are going through! We all have different stories and different backgrounds, and yet we all share a common bond that has enabled the walls to come down quickly. It amazes me to think this is not a path I knew I would be traveling, but now that I am, well, I really enjoy it, feel privileged to be a part of it, and am thankful to have so many others to walk this path with me!
So, I realize little Zach is the one to thank for opening my world to this "club"!! If he had not entered my world, I would not have had dinner last night with some amazing women, who I have so much to learn from!
So, thank you God for this "club"...no fees, but GREAT rewards!!!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
God knows just what I need
Yesterday I had an experience that reminded me that God knows exactly what I need.
The day began as every Tuesday morning does...with Zach having physical therapy. He works so hard in that hour each week-doing things that we take for granted like learning to walk, learning to kick, reaching for toys and then trying to place them where they go while trying to stand at the same time. I am always so proud of him and he really is making great progress.
But yesterday I found myself doing what I try really hard not to do, and that is looking to the future with Zach. I have found that when I focus only on the present, I don't get anxious or fearful, but when I begin to look to the future, I am sometimes overcome with the "what if's"? Yesterday the "what if's" came in the form of Zach's speech and language development, along with his overall social development.
Well, I did not really vocalize those thoughts yesterday but I did feel them in the pit of my stomach. I picked Taylor up from preschool and then took the kids to get haircuts. Afterwards as we were pulling into the garage, I realized we had left Taylor's lunch box at school, so we decided to go back to the school to get it.
We pulled up to the school and they had their "after school program" going. Kids were outside on the playground as we arrived. We got out of the car and I saw Mrs .Betty (one of our favorite teachers of all time!!) coming towards us and she had two little guys walking with her. I quickly noticed that one of them had Down Syndrome. Taylor and I walked up to them and Mrs. Betty introduced us to the boys. My heart melted as she introduced us to Clifford, the little guy with DS. Clifford immediately engaged us and asked Taylor her name. I couldn't help but put my arm around him and talk to him. He asked us a few questions and then playfully said that he had to go get a shovel, but he would be right back. He was absolutely precious...black floppy hair and a smile that was so captivating. I am guessing he is 6 or 7 years old.
When he walked off, Taylor turned to me and said "Mom, does he have Down Syndrome like Zach?" I was blown away because I did not know at what point Taylor would be able to recognize that, and I really had not expected that at 4 years old. I said "Yes, he does. Isn't that cool?" to which she sweetly nodded and smiled.
I was so moved by this interaction. I was encouraged by watching Clifford on the playground, going to get toys, and playing with his friends. Mrs. Betty even told me that once two kids were arguing over who was going to be Clifford's BFF (best friend forever). I can't explain how much it warmed my heart and gave me JUST the encouragement I needed yesterday. My eyes filled with tears because it was so like God to give me that SPECIFIC encouragement yesterday. There I was lamenting the fact that we had left Taylor's lunch box at school, and yet I came to find out that there was a bigger purpose for my forgetfulness...an opportunity to meet sweet Clifford!
Thank you, God, that even when I don't express my needs, you know exactly what I need. What a specific reminder of that yesterday!
The day began as every Tuesday morning does...with Zach having physical therapy. He works so hard in that hour each week-doing things that we take for granted like learning to walk, learning to kick, reaching for toys and then trying to place them where they go while trying to stand at the same time. I am always so proud of him and he really is making great progress.
But yesterday I found myself doing what I try really hard not to do, and that is looking to the future with Zach. I have found that when I focus only on the present, I don't get anxious or fearful, but when I begin to look to the future, I am sometimes overcome with the "what if's"? Yesterday the "what if's" came in the form of Zach's speech and language development, along with his overall social development.
Well, I did not really vocalize those thoughts yesterday but I did feel them in the pit of my stomach. I picked Taylor up from preschool and then took the kids to get haircuts. Afterwards as we were pulling into the garage, I realized we had left Taylor's lunch box at school, so we decided to go back to the school to get it.
We pulled up to the school and they had their "after school program" going. Kids were outside on the playground as we arrived. We got out of the car and I saw Mrs .Betty (one of our favorite teachers of all time!!) coming towards us and she had two little guys walking with her. I quickly noticed that one of them had Down Syndrome. Taylor and I walked up to them and Mrs. Betty introduced us to the boys. My heart melted as she introduced us to Clifford, the little guy with DS. Clifford immediately engaged us and asked Taylor her name. I couldn't help but put my arm around him and talk to him. He asked us a few questions and then playfully said that he had to go get a shovel, but he would be right back. He was absolutely precious...black floppy hair and a smile that was so captivating. I am guessing he is 6 or 7 years old.
When he walked off, Taylor turned to me and said "Mom, does he have Down Syndrome like Zach?" I was blown away because I did not know at what point Taylor would be able to recognize that, and I really had not expected that at 4 years old. I said "Yes, he does. Isn't that cool?" to which she sweetly nodded and smiled.
I was so moved by this interaction. I was encouraged by watching Clifford on the playground, going to get toys, and playing with his friends. Mrs. Betty even told me that once two kids were arguing over who was going to be Clifford's BFF (best friend forever). I can't explain how much it warmed my heart and gave me JUST the encouragement I needed yesterday. My eyes filled with tears because it was so like God to give me that SPECIFIC encouragement yesterday. There I was lamenting the fact that we had left Taylor's lunch box at school, and yet I came to find out that there was a bigger purpose for my forgetfulness...an opportunity to meet sweet Clifford!
Thank you, God, that even when I don't express my needs, you know exactly what I need. What a specific reminder of that yesterday!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Hey mom...
"Can you lay with me for just one more minute?" Those are sweet words that came out of Taylor's mouth tonight as I lay in the bed with her after tucking her in. Sometimes it just hits me as I look into her sweet, sleepy eyes...that she probably won't be asking that question forever. Some of my sweetest moments with her are putting her to bed. She seems to be the most tender, the most vulnerable, and even if she had been "extra spirited" (aka wild woman) during the day, she seems to be so sweet and snuggly at bedtime.
This week, a woman in the Down Syndrome Community in Charlotte who has been a part of our mom's group, did one of the hardest things imaginable this week...she buried her 8 month old son, Evin. He was a precious little guy who had some complications following heart surgery a couple months ago, and lost his battle this week. However I know that he is now whole and is no longer sick, and still I grieve so much for his mom. Evin was her world. Taylor and I had been praying for him every day on our way to school. The day after Evin died this week, on our way to school, after Taylor and I prayed for the day ,she said, "Mom, you forgot to pray for Evin." Well, we have just recently ventured into the subject of death and I did not know how to tell her about Evin, because right now she thinks people only die when they are really old (obviously we haven't covered everything yet). So, the words that came out of my mouth came with a lump in my throat "We don't have to pray for Evin anymore honey...he's all better now."
I write about Evin because I have been reminded this week, when my daughter asks me to lay with her for "one more minute" ,you better bet I will take it...and maybe even add a few more!
This week, a woman in the Down Syndrome Community in Charlotte who has been a part of our mom's group, did one of the hardest things imaginable this week...she buried her 8 month old son, Evin. He was a precious little guy who had some complications following heart surgery a couple months ago, and lost his battle this week. However I know that he is now whole and is no longer sick, and still I grieve so much for his mom. Evin was her world. Taylor and I had been praying for him every day on our way to school. The day after Evin died this week, on our way to school, after Taylor and I prayed for the day ,she said, "Mom, you forgot to pray for Evin." Well, we have just recently ventured into the subject of death and I did not know how to tell her about Evin, because right now she thinks people only die when they are really old (obviously we haven't covered everything yet). So, the words that came out of my mouth came with a lump in my throat "We don't have to pray for Evin anymore honey...he's all better now."
I write about Evin because I have been reminded this week, when my daughter asks me to lay with her for "one more minute" ,you better bet I will take it...and maybe even add a few more!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Good timing for LENT
Ahhh! It seems that Lent has come at a good time for me. We had some sickness go through our house last week and it seems like that can knock ya flat for a while. Our house felt like a pharmacy for about a week. These past couple of weeks have left me a little dry spiritually . I was hoping for some good reading/connecting with God time while in the Bahamas but you know how that went...Strep throat did not lend itself to me being very alert!!
So, last Wednesday, we began the Lenten journey for this year. ..time to prepare for the cross. Time to strip away some excess in my life and focus in a sharper way on God. It really could not have come at a better time for me personally.
I am using the book "From Sacrifice to Celebration -A Lenten Journey" again this year as a book to accompany me on this 40 day journey. A few quotes from the first chapter have already sharpened my thinking and my focus so far...
"Lent is a time for feeding on God's word. It's a time for nourishing our spirits on the good news of our acceptance in Christ."
"Once you stop wanting what you do not have and loosen your grip on what you do have, you are ready to receive God's presence in a new and empowering way. Filled with this presence,your restlessness will cease.You will take the less traveled road from boredom to bonding, not the congested expressway from boredom to brokenness. On your journey, you will find adventure, the unfolding drama of life's richness."
So, last Wednesday, we began the Lenten journey for this year. ..time to prepare for the cross. Time to strip away some excess in my life and focus in a sharper way on God. It really could not have come at a better time for me personally.
I am using the book "From Sacrifice to Celebration -A Lenten Journey" again this year as a book to accompany me on this 40 day journey. A few quotes from the first chapter have already sharpened my thinking and my focus so far...
"When my journey of faith seems stuck in the ruts of indifference or predictability,Lent propels me forward again.""Lent calls us to discipline. At its best, Lent is more than a season; its a journey from the daily grind to spiritual growth."
"Lent is a time for feeding on God's word. It's a time for nourishing our spirits on the good news of our acceptance in Christ."
"Once you stop wanting what you do not have and loosen your grip on what you do have, you are ready to receive God's presence in a new and empowering way. Filled with this presence,your restlessness will cease.You will take the less traveled road from boredom to bonding, not the congested expressway from boredom to brokenness. On your journey, you will find adventure, the unfolding drama of life's richness."
I pray these forty days will deepen my walk with God, and will propel me forward in Christ!
Friday, February 12, 2010
I want a DO OVER!!!!
Bahamas-Atlantis resort
Ever wanted a "do over"? Have you ever said something you regretted? Have you ever had a day in which everything went wrong? There have been many times in life when I have wanted to press a "do over" button, but I can say this is one of the first vacations I have been on in which I wanted to find that button and just start over!!
Phillip and I were given a great opportunity this past week...five days in the Bahamas at the Atlantis resort. I had never been to the Bahamas and was very excited! I was especially excited to leave the weather we have been having this Winter. ( I know I may be a wimp but I can not remember it being this cold in Charlotte for such an extended period of time in many, many years!)
Before we left town, Zach had started have "gook" (nice word,I know) in his eyes and a runny nose, but I thought it was just a cold. "Mom of the year" was wrong again! We got to the Bahamas and I began to get text messages from Reeve, who was staying with the kids while we were gone. She was asking how much gook was normal ( not her exact words) and she got more concerned throughout the day. Apparently, he got much worse, and after an almost sleepless first night at our house, she took him to the doctor the next day. They gave him some antibiotics and some drops to clear up his eyes. Soon after all this, Reeve started feeling poorly. OK, we are in the Bahamas, at one of the coolest resorts I have ever been to, and I was really having a hard time enjoying myself knowing all this was going on back home.
Another day goes by, and Phillip and I both woke up with wicked sore throats. Now I am a woman , so I am used to just sucking it up and moving ahead...but woah, this was a good one!! I was almost in tears and more than anything, shocked by the irony of the fact that we were in the BAHAMAS no less and feeling this poorly. How crazy is that? There were water slides to ride on, beaches to be walked on, books to be read while sitting by the pool, but what could we possibly do when we felt like we had just swallowed razor blades!! We called a Dr. from the U.S. who called in a prescription for us to a pharmacy in the Bahamas, but when we called the pharmacy to see how much it would cost, they said it would be $291.00...for probably the same medicine we could get back home with our $10 co-pay!! So, we opted to not do that and instead got a couple boxes of cold/sore throat theraflu and began sucking those down. A few people have mentioned we should have put colorful umbrellas in our theraflu drinks!
Anyway, as we finished out our trip, we got a text from Reeve that she had strep throat, and then we came home yesterday still feeling like we had been hit by a truck. We both went to the Dr. today and as you might guess, we both have strep (along with everyone we shared the plane with yesterday probably-sorry folks!).
So, five days in the Bahamas... and there ya' have it! I try to be a really positive person and I am sure there will be more funny stories and illustrations to come...but for now, I just want a DO OVER!!!!!!!!
Phillip and I were given a great opportunity this past week...five days in the Bahamas at the Atlantis resort. I had never been to the Bahamas and was very excited! I was especially excited to leave the weather we have been having this Winter. ( I know I may be a wimp but I can not remember it being this cold in Charlotte for such an extended period of time in many, many years!)
Before we left town, Zach had started have "gook" (nice word,I know) in his eyes and a runny nose, but I thought it was just a cold. "Mom of the year" was wrong again! We got to the Bahamas and I began to get text messages from Reeve, who was staying with the kids while we were gone. She was asking how much gook was normal ( not her exact words) and she got more concerned throughout the day. Apparently, he got much worse, and after an almost sleepless first night at our house, she took him to the doctor the next day. They gave him some antibiotics and some drops to clear up his eyes. Soon after all this, Reeve started feeling poorly. OK, we are in the Bahamas, at one of the coolest resorts I have ever been to, and I was really having a hard time enjoying myself knowing all this was going on back home.
Another day goes by, and Phillip and I both woke up with wicked sore throats. Now I am a woman , so I am used to just sucking it up and moving ahead...but woah, this was a good one!! I was almost in tears and more than anything, shocked by the irony of the fact that we were in the BAHAMAS no less and feeling this poorly. How crazy is that? There were water slides to ride on, beaches to be walked on, books to be read while sitting by the pool, but what could we possibly do when we felt like we had just swallowed razor blades!! We called a Dr. from the U.S. who called in a prescription for us to a pharmacy in the Bahamas, but when we called the pharmacy to see how much it would cost, they said it would be $291.00...for probably the same medicine we could get back home with our $10 co-pay!! So, we opted to not do that and instead got a couple boxes of cold/sore throat theraflu and began sucking those down. A few people have mentioned we should have put colorful umbrellas in our theraflu drinks!
Anyway, as we finished out our trip, we got a text from Reeve that she had strep throat, and then we came home yesterday still feeling like we had been hit by a truck. We both went to the Dr. today and as you might guess, we both have strep (along with everyone we shared the plane with yesterday probably-sorry folks!).
So, five days in the Bahamas... and there ya' have it! I try to be a really positive person and I am sure there will be more funny stories and illustrations to come...but for now, I just want a DO OVER!!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Random thoughts from this past week
- Snow/ice/days off...fun for a while, but I realize I am a big fan of routine! I was really thrown off this week!
- Taylor cracks me up...after spending 45 minutes (slight exaggeration) getting ready to go out in the snow, we go out, get one picture...and after one time sledding and getting ice on her face, she started crying and exclaimed "This is the worstest season ever!!"
- Been thinking a lot about selfishness this week. I have had a few situations that have brought this to the forefront of my mind. I have seen it in myself and I have seen it in others. THANKFUL for the grace of God!
- Zach's laugh is one of the sweetest sounds I have ever heard.
- Finding joy in the mundane is a discipline.
- I can post a Bible verse on facebook and get few, if any,responses. I posted a question this week , asking if I am the only one on facebook who doesn't watch the show "Lost" and I got 43 comments...I'm just saying!
- This morning in my prayer group at Oasis, we spent some time just praising God for who He is. We went through the alphabet and for each letter, we spoke out attributes of God we are thankful for- and yes, "Z" was a tough letter!! What struck me was as I listened to what was being said about God and threw out some words myself, I realized it was the most peaceful I had felt all week. (Note to self: Focusing on God , and not myself, is a good thing!!!)
- Believe it or not, I still really like the song "I Got a Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas...could have something to do with the fact that it is funny to hear a 4 year old singing "I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night!"
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